Friday, April 13, 2012

my 2 cents about Ann Romney

I don't usually chime in on politics but the controversy of this article and own current transition made my blood boil.  The commentator is suggesting that Romney's wife is unqualified to talk about women in the workplace because she was a stay at home mom, and never had a "real" job.  Ann Romney joined Twitter specifically to respond to these comments.

I am currently working through my own transition from trying to be more than just mom: I failed miserably and now our whole family is working to get back something normal.  I was getting in the groove of being a mom, my daughter was almost a year and the baby itch was starting.  Then an opportunity came up for us to pursue a dream of serving as missionaries overseas and we went for it! At the same time we got pregnant with #2.  I thought it would be no big deal to have 2 kids under 2, to make a drastic career change and move our family overseas.

Then it all started to happen and quickly I began to feel like I was on a runaway train that wouldn't stop.  Parenting two kids is not easier than parenting one: Nursing, Diaper Changes, and naps for the infant do take up a lot of time and energy as does entertaining, discipline, feeding and instructing a toddler.  How was I suppose to give my kids the attention they craved and also focus full time on our career change and international move?

Thats when it all hit me that the explosions I would have at my husband at the end of each weekend speaking trip weren't a normal part of adjustment.  They were symptomatic of something bigger.  Something I had run from for 10 years was showing up again with vengeance, and this time the stakes were higher. I had to come to terms that I'm not super-mom, and I was suffering from Depression as a result.

We have changed course and settled in to a more stable life now and I'm adjusting to being just a Stay-At-Home Mom.  Except every day I find myself looking for things that can make me more than "just a mom".  Then I have to remember that I tried that and I failed.  Mom really is a full time job that takes as much energy as any other employment opportunity, if not more because there is overtime.

Right now for our financial situation it would be a lot better if I found work but then I would have to find and pay childcare, and find and pay for a vehicle (we are a 1- car family, always have been), and still try and fit in at least a few of the home tasks around my other job: no thanks, I already tried that and  it didn't work for us.  So would me working really contribute to the family finances if I have to pay for a car and childcare just to work?

There was a set of articles I read in a inter-cultural communications class while in college.  It talked about 5 traits of being feminine and masculine.  To summarize: to be masculine included traits about being strong and providing and choosing cars over dolls.  The last of the points for being feminine was, as I remember, that there is no definition of being feminine.  Some people say being feminine is wearing skirts and staying home and having babies.  Others say its rejecting that and climbing the corporate ladder and making our intellect count in the business world.

So as I make this transition back to just being mom I find myself asking a question.
What is normal and where do I fit as a modern woman?
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